Let's overturn these tables

Young adults who walk away from Jesus

I used to attend a church with a large youth ministry. For 13 years I was part of the youth team, with opportunity to observe, and to talk with youth and their leaders.

This has left me with information and ideas on youth discipleship, and how teens transition into adulthood as christians …. or as non-believers. I think this life stage is critical for the church as well as for the individuals themselves.

So I did a little reading, especially about what others are finding in the Australian church, and found some clear ways we can do better.

Observations in a middle class suburban church

I have questioned dozens of christian young adults, asking them how many of their cohort remained believers after they completed school and left the youth group. I have found that year groups vary, but there are some broad patterns:

  • Within 6-12 months, maybe half of those who graduated from youth have ceased to identify as christian.
  • Within two years, perhaps only 20% are continuing to be active in their faith.
  • Even among those who continue on in their twenties as youth leaders, some fall away from their faith.
  • Girls seem to hold on more than boys.

It seems to me that youth ministry could prepare teens far better for their transition to tertiary education, employment and life with greater freedom and disposable income. A narrow focus on evangelism could be broadened to include discipleship, better apologetics and encouraging questions. This suspicion has been confirmed by my reading.

Of course we are unlikely to prevent some young adults discarding christian belief, but surely we want to prepare our teens in such a way as gives them every opportunity to perservere?

Why do they walk away?

Factors in the world, in the church and the christian community, and within themselves, seem to all contribute to young adults falling out of faith.

We need to try to understand these factors if we are going to address them, and prepare teens for the transition to the adult world outside school.

The surrounding culture

The world has changed enormously in my lifetime.

  • In most first world countries, christianity is no longer the cultural consensus. Today’s christian youth are part of a minority culture. This is likely to have an impact on everything they do and experience.
  • Today’s teens face a much less certain future than I did growing up in the post WW2 boom. Climate change, political polarisation, job uncertainty, the cost of home ownership and relationship uncertainty all have an effect.
  • Young adults doing tertiary training seem to lead very busy lives these days, working on weekends and days off uni, sometimes at several part time jobs. They have less time available for christian fellowship and growth.

Social movements now question and even threaten more traditional christian ethics and social values.

  • Traditional christian attitudes on gender and sexuality are no longer shared, even nominally, by secular culture, as well as by many younger christians. Most teens will have LGBTQI friends and friends with an active (even if exploitive) sex life.
  • Increased freedom and options will mean that “sex and drugs and rock ‘n’ roll” will be achievable temptations for christian teens and young adults.
  • Inclusivity on race, gender and religious pluralism have become accepted values in secular culture. Many christians see this as a positive, but churches haven’t always had the same view.

The last half century has seen a knowledge explosion in science, medicine, archaeology, human personality, etc, and all this information is now readily available via the internet. Kids today can watch videos, listen to podcasts and check out websites on every conceivable subject. This includes information that undermines traditional christian views of the BIble and faith.

Teens and young adults may well know more than their pastors or their parents on subjects that interest them.

The church and the christian community

Some aspects of church life are giving christianity a bad reputation.

  • Hypocrisy, intolerance and poor behaviour by christian leaders are problems for many inside and outside the church.
  • There are doctrines that modern young adults find difficult to believe – e.g. hell, patriarchy, God ordering genocide in the Old Testament.
  • Many teens and young adults report that there are some topics that they are not allowed to raise, but rather they are shut down.
  • There is often a narrow focus on evangelism, with much less organised effort on discipleship and love for neighbour.

In addition, many younger christians find the church as presently organised doesn’t provide what they feel they need:

  • well based answers to difficult questions – without these, sceptical arguments against christianity appear stronger than they are;
  • reasons to believe rather than just faith in the Bible;
  • a sense of being connected to a personal, loving God;
  • opportunities to make a difference in the world and to care for those in need.

Many don’t like what they see

A 2018 analysis of the future of the US church (The Great Opportunity) found that there was a growing rate of disaffection with and disaffiliation from the church among younger Christians. Considering what was making Christianity and the church unattractive to them, the report concluded: “The majority of the disaffiliated did not go through a crisis of faith or intellectually reject church teachings. They left because they just weren’t interested in the Christian life they saw.”

Tony Campolo said youth is made for heroism. “Generation Z is a socially conscious cohort” because they are well connected digitally to the world and each other so they are well aware of justice issues and often familiar with “democratized activism”. The Great Opportunity report found that “the majority of the unaffiliated believe that the church is of no benefit” in working for justice. So it is unsurprising that they aren’t interested in the Christian life.

The report suggests that the church would do well to return to the traditional understanding of the church’s mission as including being salt and light in the world (by advocating for justice and caring for the marginalised) and being a loving community that reflects the values and grace of God’s kingdom on earth. It is salutary to consider the churches we are each part of and how well they reflect these outward-looking values, and how much they are inward-looking.

Other organisations have reported a similar finding that many younger Christians don’t find the church culture and values attractive (see e.g. BioLogos, Premier Christianity, Lifeway).

It would be surprising to me if some of the same issues weren’t relevant to churches outside the US.

It isn’t just the organised church

It seems that few adults, few parents, have been equipped to disciple and pastor their children, but rely on the church for this. The church has only limited time to make disciples, and if parents aren’t prepared and active, their children start with a disadvantage. One of the roles of the church is to assist parents in discipling and motivating their children.

Several analyses of the needs of church teens and young adults point to the need for parents to be more actively involved in discipling their kids (and thus needing training and support to do this) and for older Christians in the church taking a greater interest in younger church members (see e.g. The Great Opportunity, Raising Everyday Disciples).

Personal issues

Older teens can be going through a time of personal doubt, and can suffer from anxiety or lack of self worth. Their brains are not fully developed until their mid twenties, and their identities are still being formed, yet they are being asked to make major decisions about faith and life.

Once they leave school, they can feel isolated, more influenced by the surrounding culture than by the church. It can sometimes be hard to live as they believe they should when those around them are pressing them to join them in more risky behaviour. Beliefs that seemed quite clear and believable in youth group can be made to seem quaint or unjustified.

Making disciples that perservere

Protestant church services were developed in a time when people were less educated than now and when the whole community and culture was considered christian. Churchgoers needed to be reminded of truths they already believed, have opportunity to worship God, and be encouraged to respond to God.

Church services actually haven’t changed so much in content since then (it’s still hymns, sermon, prayers, Bible reading and maybe liturgy, with some differences between Protestant, Catholic and Orthodix traditions) though styles of music and dress have changed. And midweek Bible study and prayer meetings have been around for a long time.

But the culture we inhabit has changed so much in the last generation or so, and young christians need a quite different form of ministry if they are going to be prepared to live in a secular 21st century world.

It must be personal

Relationships are probably a more important part of discipling and preparing younger christians than impressive services, deep Bible study or solid teaching. Building relationships should be intentional.

  • Is the church an authentic community that is genuinely welcoming and feels like home? “Young adults see hypocrisy and being inauthentic as a sign of a dead or dying community.” Do teens feel the church will support them and love them even if they mess up?
  • Children and teens are at home much more than they are at church. But are parents equipped and committed to pastoring and discipling their own children? The visible and active faith of parents is a major factor in the next generation perservering in following Jesus. Yet few churches invest in training parents in this way.
  • It is also important for teens to have mentors and see role models among older people in the church. How many older churchgoers are willing to get out of their comfort zone and give time to children’s or youth ministry, and especially in in formal friendship and support for younger people?
  • All these relationships must be grace-filled. If we relate well and young christians walk away, the door will always be open if they wish to reconsider.

Fear and control

Many church leaders seem fearful of disparate opinions or behaviours, especially if they may lead to division and people leaving. This is understandable, but the remedy is often as bad as the perceived problem. For these fears seem to lead many denominations and church leaders to exert strong control over what happens. Only approved speakers are allowed to give sermons. Dissident opinions are often shut down in Bible study groups. Bible study and discussion material is strictly controlled.

This results in passive christians who never hear an alternative opinion from their leaders, and who can fear speaking out and being thought to have unsound theology. It doesn’t make strong disciples.

There is a better way.

The flourishing of the whole person

In Ephesians 4, Paul makes clear that the role of christian leaders (apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors and teachers) is to equip the rest of us so we can use our gifts and our opportuities to serve. The aim is that we all mature so we can stand in our faith, even when we come up against wrong ideas.

This is surely what we are talking about here – teens and young adults maturing in faith so they don’t fall away.

So our aim must be that young christians are not dependent on their leaders controlling and protecting them, but they grow to maturity so they learn to make their own choices. There are ways we can do this (and, unfortunately, ways we can make it less likely).

Taking responsibility for their own discipleship

Motivation is key. If young christians are motivated, they will be much more likely to commit to following Jesus. But controlling and heavy-handed teaching is de-motivating and leaves people passive. So we need to motivate and inspire young christians to take responsibility for their discipleship. Only then can we expect them to learn, grow and mature.

Self learning

Self learning has been proven to be by far the best way to learn. It is all about motivation again. People of all ages are far more likely to learn if they are motivated. Passive listening to a talk on a subject chosen by someone else is far less likely to lead to transformation and growth.

Freedom to explore

Part of self learning is exploring new ideas and learning how to make judgments about what is true and what isn’t. Older christians shouldn’t prevent this – curious teens will explore anyway – but rather should support inquisitive young christians and go on the journey with them. This will provide young christians with a sounding board and a lifeline, and so will help them mature in their understanding and develop the ability to think critically.

Respecting their choices

Leaders often want to control the agenda, by deciding sermon and study topics. But it is important to give young christians opportunity to ask questions and suggest topics of interest, and respecting their choices. And if they make different choices to the ones we think are right, we need to be very sure of our ground before we rush to correct them. Keeping open communication, making sure they know they are loved and respected regardless, will be helpful.

Holistic ministry

It is good to seek the flourishing of the whole person and to cater to different gifts. Some people appreciate teaching and answers, but others are looking for community or spiritual connection with God. Services and other ministry to young christians should allow and encourage them to develop their faith in the way most meaningful to them, not necessarily in the traditional manner of the denomination.

Honest apologetics

Some people need to have good objective reasons if they are going to continue to believe, and most christians need answers to some difficult questions. So apologetics is important for many, and should be part of our teaching to teens and young adults.

I have read a lot on apologetic topics, and I have found that much christian apologetics is, unfortunately, poor quality and unconvincing for anyone who has read much on the subject being discussed. This is because, I believe, christians are seeking to defend a doctrine or dogma rather than seeking to know and present the truth. For it is an unfortunate fact, I believe, that some christian teaching is not in accord with the reality of the world we live in.

If we give answers that can be clearly shown to be contrary to evidence, and if young christians do their own reading, or come into contact with a well-read non-believer, young christians will lose confidence in their leaders, and likely in their faith.

It will be a big jump for some, but learning what archaeology, history and science have to say on some key topics will be a helpful and maybe necessary step in discipling younger christians.

Ongoing support

The move out of high school and out of youth group means a sudden loss of community support. Teens can feel isolated at university, apprenticeship or work. Proving transition fellowship and support at church can be very helpful if it is done well.

Willingness to change

The key to all this is being willing to change. Being willing to re-examine our own faith, to be challenged by difficult questions and to try to relate to younger christians in a more equal and affirming way. And allowing teens and their leaders to approach discipling in new ways.

Are us older christians, especially leaders, up to the challenge?

References

Photo: Bob Price.